The Journey Begins

Hot damn, it's hard to believe that the time has finally come to depart for India. I booked the airline ticket back in May and I’ve been counting down ever since. Without leaving Portland yet I already received a meaningful lesson from my journey. I am blessed with so many gifts in my life...they come in many forms. First of all, I am incredibly fortunate to have a job where I am cut loose to take this personal sabbatical and have the position waiting for me when I return. During the past two weeks while training my fill-in, I realized how much I do at my position. Once taking a person through everything I do, step by step, I saw and began to value the work that I do.

When aspects of life become familiar, repetitive and systematic my personal connection to these things grows numb.

In the same vein this was happening with the relationships in my life. During this recent countdown to my departure i took an informal inventory of the people I hold dear...folks who i wanted to make an effort to have QT with before temporarily dropping out of my social circles. in each friendship, in each mirror, I was shown a reflection of love. In particular, this past week has jump started my gooey emotional urges for all those peeps I love so much.

This perhaps is my first lesson of my journey: some of the largest blessings and possibilities stand before me and currently exist in my realm at home. With a melted heart I embark on this personal journey...without even arriving to PDX I have gained my first token of growth.

This is my third trip to India. the first trip cracked my mold...stripped me clean of most things of security in my life: loss of a career, a permanent residence, familiar faces in friendships, loss of long term relationship with David, abandoning an obsessive fitness & running regimen and detaching from my family.

The second trip was taking the vulnerable, emotionally wounded core self and attempting to determine who I really am.

Both trips were emotional roller coasters for me and my joy and exploration was equally matched with loneliness and emotional despair. But what do you get when experiencing a blend of highs & lows?

GROWTH

The past 2 1/2 years in Portland found me starting anew and laying down roots.

I've maintained and nurtured the friendships of those who have deemed to be friends I will have for a lifetime.

In addition I have attained friendships with an entirely new crew who represent a mirror to the butterfly-in-progress I continue to develop.

For this trip I have put together a list of intentions for the upcoming 3 1/2 months.

Firstly, I will make decisions by honoring my path. I will not seek outside myself for approval from others.

Secondly, I will be open to the reminders of the love, passion, happiness and family devotion that is capable despite have very little in material possessions. The poverty and joy I witness intertwined here is not only humbling but also incredibly inspiring.

Thirdly, I will receive inspiration of new experiences, philosophies and perspectives of which I cannot anticipate in advance.

For these intentions I have created an altar to my growth. In a swath of special fabric I have a tiny golden medallion and a small cluster of clear crystals. The medallion was given to me during my first visit to India by an Indian man I met in Jaisalmer. He asked for nothing in return and asserted that I am to carry it with me at all times during my travels. As I packed a few nights ago, the medallion fell from my backpack and I hadn't remembered it until I saw it glistening by my feet.

The crystals have sat on a sunny windsill of my house in Portland for months. They have absorbed the light daily and they represent all the joys and love I have waiting for me at home.

In each place I will rest my head, I will assemble my tokens as a reminder and manifestation of my intentions.

As my journey proceeds the altar will grow.

I arrived to Chapora, Goa just one hour ago after 5 flights and a total of ~42 hours of traveling. I am so happy to be here...to be greeted by the familiar smells still in the outer areas approaching the place i return to again and again was a wonderful sensation.