Clear crystal pyramid

Arambol…

Settling in underway…

All the points along the stretch of beach from south to north act as pulling forces on my compass.

Each time I step into the sand I do not know which way I will be pulled.

This is what I love about traveling solo—feeling the pull of that very moment and following it without any consultation of others. I learn so much about myself in these wandering periods of my life.

Do I want to walk south and listen to small groups of travelers creating music with guitars, flutes and drums?

Or should I head north?

Hmm…

North it is.

Reaching the end of the beach to the rocky point that carries on its spine a dirt path continuing, winding beyond the gentle cliffs…

Reuniting with the sand…

This time a more narrow strip.

The energetic waves crash to one side.

30 yards away its other border is a calm freshwater lake.

Feeling an onward tug I continue into the trees in a forest, which grows thicker with each step. The narrow limbs and trunks become denser and dangle from great heights above descending together intertwined.

In the near distance I hear the singing and drumming of a kirtan. I reach a small circular opening beneath a massive banyan tree: not one singular being but hundreds of limbs growing together into a mass of weaved endlessly long fingers.

Seated in the circle are people from various countries singing, drumming and clapping around a smoldering fire.

I float through the Arambol compass…

Sometimes stopping for tea at a reggae café…

Or prawn curry at a hut where I incomprehensibly eavesdrop on a group of Italians…

Or settling in on a pleasant plot of sand…

So many choices and its all up to me.

When it comes to choices its not as black and white as choosing where to eat or what I will do each day. I am here in a different land with different people, languages and cultures. Here is where I can recreate myself and be whoever I want to be. There is nothing holding me to any parameters of my ego…

But me.

Really, though…it is this situation wherever I am…including home.

The biggest reason I am continually drawn to India is for this environment that teaches and reminds me of self-discovery.

One evening I wandered north on the Arambol compass and some people called me to sit with them. Our small group continued to grow and we became an audience for a man singing songs typically heard around an American campfire. However, one stark difference is that no one, not the singer nor the audience spoke English as their native language. The singer, stumbling for lyrics of a song I know well and love, asked for assistance. When I offered the words the next thing you know I was up on stage by his side singing a duo together.

Up until that day I would have convinced myself that I cannot sing, my voice is bad, yadda yadda. But in that moment I made the choice to be a singer.

Last night I went to a small rooftop café where every Wednesday is an open air screening of “What the bleep do we know?”

In this introspective state I’ve slipped into this week I have been reflecting on energetic and spatial affects of decision-making and ego.

To watch this powerful film that questions that and more…

And is filmed in the place I call home…

Seeing images of Portland combined with the affirmation of my reflection this week:

Irony

At the entry of the beach the last vendor before my feet hit the sand is a nice teenager selling beautiful crystals. Each day, a hundred times a day, he greets each passerby:

“hello, madame/sir…look my crystals?”

At least 9 out of 10 times he weathers an abrupt sloughing from the passing tourist. When he uttered the words to me I stopped anyway despite no interest in buying crystals. I was compelled by the glimmer and beauty of the mound of crystals and his sincere smile. He told me he climbs into the hills of his homeland in Gujarat to find these crystals…and it is where his girlfriend awaits his return in April.

I got a good laugh when his wallet flips open and I spy two clear plastic panes with photos. I asked to see these more closely and, with a little protest, he showed me his wallet. Both panes in the shape of a heart reveal a different Bollywood movie star. Ha! I ask him what about his girlfriend and he says, “I get good feeling from them just like for my girlfriend”.

Feeling the pull to a point beyond he stops me before I disappear and puts in my hand a small clear crystal pyramid. He refused my non-acceptance and told me not to tell anyone he did that because I am the only one he has given a gift to.

It is possible that he says this to many people but I choose to believe his words.

I’m out here doing what I love most

…and surrounded by people who love the same.

Right now I am home

My photos of Goa