freedom

I just spent 6 weeks in Arambol.

There are so many ways I can interpret or judge or analyze my or anyone else’s experience based on one sentence. Upon arrival back in January I absolutely never thought and definitely did not plan to be there for so long. Committing to 3 weeks when I arrived was daunting enough back then. And yet 6 weeks later as I departed yesterday it was a sweet melancholy…realizing that I had some sadness in saying goodbye. A sadness only a flickering moment as I cleared myself to a shift in perspective of absolute gratefulness and love. Sticking around and staying the course…not running away when I feel antsy out of fear of getting too close…which is fear of getting hurt…fear fear fear.

I have been traveling for years but I feel like it has been ages since I let myself just rest in one place. To rest my fears, agitation, awkwardness, rest my judgment, constant movement and seeking. Yes, rest this seeking.

This seeking! To be able to put it aside and just BE. I feel free.

The Great Freedom “12 Inquiries” course that I completed almost a week ago was a profound experience for me. It had been recommended to me last season in India but I felt hesitant at that time. The timing and logistics of the course I just completed were so absolutely convenient that the opportunity was staring me in the face and asking “SO. Are you going to do it or not? Huh? Because I’m right here in front of you.”

Initially I was frustrated with the class due to my aversion and judgment of the guru-seeking-spiritual-Disneyland many tourists come to find in India. Plus I am very keen as I notice each year the occasional traveler in India who has “lost the plot” so to speak…losing their mind or losing their identity. And that sure as hell wasn’t going to be me…and I was rigid and strong to prevent it.

However, the course was very intensive…sharing each of our deepest demons and fears amongst a class of 20 other people. Through exposing vulnerabilities my steely veneer softened and I was able to finally just open up and listen without so much judging and resistance.

But how this course is a profound experience is not in only the 2 weeks in the course through sharing and getting to know ~20 other amazing people…it is profound because I feel I finally have the tools I need and have been seeking for years to help navigate life.

My experience in Arambol this season has been so so sweet. I was more open and receiving and I was granted the fruit…and I took a bite. I made so amazing business connections!...so stoked to be carrying my friend Ori’s Aspire line of clothes. I deepened friendships with those I share my winters here every year. I made new friendships…so many and so lovely. I think I had a crush on about 20 people…so much beauty! So much creativity! So much love! Everywhere I went I just felt so much love for everyone that I was in constant crush mode.

My final two nights I was blissed and blessed. Culminating my friendships all together in a large Carnivale celebration on the beach I danced amongst hundreds in festive costumes and live music. And then my final night I kept it really chill by just sitting amongst friends in the living room (Piya’s guesthouse)…and how totally appropriate the collection of beautiful friends around me; friends from past years in Arambol, new friends from Piya’s, new friends from Great Freedom, friends from the creatrix fashion community, friends from home & the beginning of my journey (Morgan & Monika returned just in time for my Arambol closure) and Anjali (formerly known as Foxy) another friend from home showed up one more time too.

To be surrounded by so many people I love and each representing stages and arenas of where I’ve been and who I have become is just so appropriate and beautiful for my departure from Arambol. I give so much props to life and the universe for the constant gifts and also thanks that I have my eyes open for the awareness to see and receive.

Photos & videos http://www.flickr.com/photos/meredith415/sets/72157613384134939/

Great Freedom http://www.greatfreedom.org/