No, I don’t “do” yoga

The first time I tried yoga was in March 2003 in the yoga capital: Rishikesh…the place where the Beatles found their guru…amongst other things. It was the most spectacular setting for yoga: outdoors in the fresh air of the mountainous northern regions of India and home to the onset of the Ganga River. Our class met on the rooftop for clear views of the open sky, trees and the sunsets; to which we would salute repeatedly.

Through the past several years I’ve had random encounters with strangers who have approached me, surmising that I “do” yoga…and as the chap the other day said so eloquently: “it is just an intuitive hunch”.

So whenever approached and asked if I “do” yoga I usually pause and look to some spot skyward and screw up my face a bit…and give an uncertain rambling answer like “well, I think yoga has a lot of potential and I’ve tried it a few times, but I guess I don’t really “do” yoga…but I’d like to give it a try”.

So the onset of this India journey seemed such perfect timing to give yoga another try. I really needed some sort of a schedule to start off my trip. The first few days found me floundering about from the beach to the town and my room…and not sure what to do with myself and all this free time. The class schedule forcing me to wake up each day and be at class by 9:30am gave me the structure I needed as I eased in to the slow non structured life in a beach town in Goa. In addition to having somewhere to be and something to do I had a vehicle for interaction…which is pretty essential to me. I feel much more comfortable interacting with strangers if we have some common thread to motivate a chat…instead of going at it cold with a “so…how long have you been in India already?”, etc.

So now I’m at day 3 of an intensive class comprised of a pretty solid and nice group of people. I’ve got some bonds solidifying with these folks and have already begun to socialize outside of class and even talk about other things besides yoga.

And thank god for that

Because

Today I realized

I DON’T “DO” YOGA

I’m not into it!

Nope!

Halleluiah!

All these years that I’ve felt that self imposed pressure that I should be doing yoga…and that one day I would master it…and that it’s my calling…and all those late nights in my bedroom when I was 8 years old and just naturally striking all the yoga poses meant that I was I yoga master in some previous life…and because I am so fit I can take on any physical exercise expertly without effort …and …and …and

So I was sitting in day 3 today and I was feeling an incredibly amount of pressure as to why I don’t feel comfortable standing completely upside down on my head. And why can’t I do it? Am I weak? Am I loser? If I don’t do it am I quitter??

And you know what I realized? It is OK for me to not “do” yoga!!

Hooray!!!

It is so silly to have created such pressure for myself. I mean, I don’t beat myself up about not snowboarding, yet I can pause at the half-pipe and admire how freaking cool snowboard tricks appear to me, yet not feel like a loser because I’m not doing it.

I reflect back to the gorgeous locale of my Rishikesh yoga class 5 years ago and now remember having felt a bit uncomfortable with several of the poses. …and had ultimately bowed out of the class toward the end of the week. Usually, without the reminders of my current yoga class, my memories of my first class are strongly fixed on the Ganga riverside class and the rooftop with the open air and the nature and the beautiful dreadlocked international men in my class, etc. And yes I do remember how the teacher pulled me in front of the class to use me as a headstand example which ultimately was mildly traumatic which precipitated me quitting back then. But I choose to reflect more on the aforementioned aspects that served me best instead of the humiliation of crying from the anxiety of a pose I was not prepared to do in front of a class.

And today when faced with a similar headstand or even the milder backbend pose I realized:

I’m not into it.

Here comes the introspective wandering conclusion:

While I jokingly tell my friends (both from the class and not) that I am a “quitter” and chuckle about it…the reality is that I can appreciate so many talents and expressions of creativity without feeling the need to duplicate it in style, form or anything similar. I can just love the beauty of what it is and take the residual energy of the joy of appreciation and apply it to MY loves and passions and creations.

So let me take this opportunity to thank all you beautiful creators, performers and talented people. I appreciate you and your gifts of raising that creative vibration.

And yes, this means you yoga masters, too.