the flow of the waters and wanderings in Varanasi

One of the most incredible cities in the world is Varanasi. An ancient city of densely arranged tall buildings that butt right up to the banks of the holy Ganges River.

Series of stairs (known as ghats) descend toward the spiritual waters.

The currents are greeted on the opposite bank with sand and nature. The ends of the spectrum of either natural area or the chaotic and packed human creations straddle the waters that bring cleansing and rebirth in-between to millions who dip and enjoy the flow and fluids of this Shiva city also known as Kashi. All kinds of uses of the water take place along the ghats including bathing, swimming, row boating, blessings of births & marriages and cremation of those who have passed.

There are two ghats devoted specifically as burning ghats where one can witness the open pyres of wood encasing bodies, burning nonstop for 24 hours each day, every day. It is a joyful event for family and friends who celebrate the passing of a loved one here because the spreading of the ashes into the Ganges, the Hindus believe, brings closure to the soul’s cycles of reincarnation.

The final passing of each spirit…

My favorite way to experience this city is to wander the length of the Ganges along the ghats; from one burning ghat all the way down to the other. Each ghat in between has its own history, appearance and activity. At one moment I can watch the billowing smoke of cremation and just several yards away be offered a boat ride. Further along families bathe and the next an area of young men frolicking and splashing with games and laughter.

I unintentionally timed my visit to Varanasi perfectly because Hindu babas from around the country had made the journey one month prior to a nearby Khumba Mela festival. Before the babas return home they stay in Varanasi to celebrate both Shiva Ratri and Holi.

Babas are holy men in the Hindu religion and the best comparison I can make for them is with Rastafarian men. Babas have given up their material possessions and societal obligations to devote themselves to attain a higher spiritual life in Hinduism. Most sport long dreadlocked hair, walk shoeless and wear simple orange draped cloth. They smoke as much marijuana or hashish as needed to attain an open state of connection with a spiritual self. Because of their esteemed position among religious Hindus, their use of what is normally considered illegal drugs is acknowledged as completely allowed and an acceptable part of their spiritual process.

Can you imagine a nun lighting up a fattie?

Roll one up, Sister Mary Catherine!

With the influx of babas in this holy city, what is usually bare areas along the ghats became temporary tented cities housing hundreds of orange clothed dreadlocked Hindu holy men. There are many different types of babas and one that surprisingly didn’t freak me out is a naga baba. “Naga” means naked, and when called over by a group of Naga babas I only hesitated for a moment before deciding to join them in their circle. Yep, me and 8 naked holy men passing a chillum. Hello!

Woah!

It didn’t take long for me to shake the weird feeling of them being naked and realize that these were the nicest, most chilled out people I’ve ever met.

From there I continued to walk along the ghats with my new activity of “baba-hopping”. Inundated with friendly invitations to sit with these men, I eventually chose to decline some of the festive offers…or else I’d never get anywhere. You see, being holy doesn’t mean these dudes have eased their natural appreciation of the beauty of women. Every woman who walked by them was enthusiastically invited to join their circle. And when I sat with any group I couldn’t help but giggle, as they would totally check out and make commentary on each goddess that walked past…

“Oh, beautiful Parvati”

“Oh, she is so lovely”

and so on…

With the arrival of the Holi festival my baba-hopping screeched to a halt for a couple of days. Holi is the annual religious festival that is celebrated with the onslaught of color: thrown, dumped or smeared on any clean person in sight. I’ve played Holi twice before (see here for pics) and this year I decided to remain a spectator (which can be challenging if you don’t stay in complete hiding). So I made sure to stay in a guesthouse that has a restaurant and a view so I wouldn’t have to step outside for over 24 hours.

Coinciding with the arrival of Holi was the arrival of Ron, my pal from Pushkar who I last saw one week before. The city, now washed in hues of pink was now a place I wandered as two instead of one.

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You may have noticed that I am afflicted with the travel bug. Ever since 2001 when I first left the USA, I caught a taste of foreign journeys and I can’t shake this passion for wandering.

I love meeting people from the around the world,

being in places that are far from familiar

and immersing myself in various foreign cultures.

But these things merely comprise my playground of WHY I love to travel overseas.

When I am immersed in foreign stimulation my senses are fresh and raw. What was once an undetectable automatic response to the familiar surrounds and ways of home, in the new I learn more about myself. I realize in each moment and with each decision I make what I like and how I like it. Trying new food, interacting with people completely different from my cliques at home, participating in activities unlike the usual outings I do over and over at home. Placing myself in this new dynamic wakes me, shakes me up and what emerges is a better self-understanding.

And this is why I encourage folks to get out there and check it out…

To discover a new perspective of who YOU are.

One huge dynamic in this is whether a traveler chooses to go it alone or with friends. Sometimes folks head out alone and then end up meeting like-minded new friends to travel with.

I choose to travel alone for many reasons but mostly because my reactions and decision are only from me providing what I consider the purest way to understand myself. Traveling with others for me in these past journeys has been hit or miss. I’ve met some wonderful people but I’ve also been in situations where I let the group be a priority over my best interests…my “path”.

I realize in ALL relationships, not just travel partners, it is essential that each person have a balance of maintaining their path and autonomy while making compromise and offering support to the relationship.

Relationships, I have come to realize in the past few years, are my greatest achievement I have YET to be able to successfully maintain.

With my Varanasi wanderings shifting to a shared experience with Ron, the Kashi mirror reflected to me how selfish I am of having full control of making decisions and having my way.

Now, for example, instead of just walking over and sitting down with a baba who just waved me over, I found I felt obligated to turn to Ron and ask “do you want to go sit with the babas?…is that cool?”

And my flow, my independent and sometimes lonely wander, is now compromised.

And me?

Now I get cranky.

I know that understanding one’s weaknesses is the biggest and most important step towards self-improvement. But it is so hard to take when I’m in full realization of how I’m playing my bitch card…and ultimately making Ron feel bad as a result.

…in addition to how this behavior squelches opportunities.

Together Ron and I left Varanasi for a two-day long, LONG bus journey to Nepal. With so much togetherness jammed in this time I was able to see clearly that we have some striking incompatibilities. Nothing that prevents friendship but enough where I knew it wasn’t working between us on this journey.

So, yes, I read into it when one of our bus’ tires went flat.

Our relationship deflated.

However, we are still friends.

Now in Katmandu

I’m alone again

photos are here...

videos are here
and here