In the midst of it all: some venting

So you know that old tale of the genie that tricked the man by a twisted interpretation of a wish?
Well I have a similar genie in my midst that has played with a little prayer I’d made.
“Dear God,
Please let numerous men throw themselves at me all day every day.
Amen”

MY genie's “trick” is that I’ve spent most of my days in India with my wish having come true…but the men in my reality are local Indian villager men.
And as much as they all would like to think that I’m in India so I can hop from place to place getting a real “in depth” taste of the spices of India…this being based on Hollywood, free internet pornos and their inaccurate but earnest fantasies. But the reality?
No
Nehigh!
Absolutely not…

India aside, traveling alone is a big challenge for a person like me. I’ve been, uh, “blessed” with a very confident demeanor while having the insides of insecurity and shyness.
To usher in some self-growth I continue to leave my unfamiliar surrounds through traveling. This pushes my comfort limits by having to repeatedly extend myself to initiate friendships…and (at a minimum) conversation.

In Indian culture it is rare to see women alone and independent. Since I’m usually in this situation over here the more lustful and less shy men see me as a target…or as some Indians have explained to me: I’m a free game.

I decided to take an overnight bus from Madhya Pradesh to Rajasthan. Each time our bus made a potty stop I (and my wee bladder) made a beeline for the “open toilet”.
What’s an open toilet?
Going to the toilet in the great wide open.
My strategy was to follow silhouettes of flowing sarees heading toward a dark alley and as far from the men’s eyes as possible.

Several hours late and one flat tire later I arrived to Udaipur, the romantic and over-touristy city home to palaces, lakes and the pride of having been the location featured in the 70’s James Bond flick, “Octopussy”.

Most of the Udaipurian shopkeepers have brushed up on their charming and slick lines. Their approach appeals to a shy person like me and my need to have a conversation every once in a while. But it’s not just that, these guys are really nice and interesting to talk to. The problem is that there is usually a turning point during our chat when they amp up their charm and become very pushy. They eventually insist repeatedly that we share a beer, or I come to their house or that we spend the day together on some adventure.
I’m certainly not too shy at this point to say NO.
…and then to say no repeatedly as many times necessary until I ultimately have to just walk away. It gets frustrating because every time I pass their shop or see them around this continues. I’d like to think that the conversations I’ve had would remain a pleasant platonic acquaintance when ultimately I end up wanting to steer clear of these guys altogether. This effort to avoid the pressure tactics becomes exhausting when all I’d like to do is chat with the locals and enjoy a nice hot cup of chai.

When I moved north to Bundi I assumed that in a less touristy place this situation would be lessened. That was definitely not the case. And this is truly a shame for my first impression of this new place. Upon arrival I had already reached my limit of being patient with constantly having to have my guard up from getting this kind of energy from men.

Bundi is an amazing and beautiful small village that is surrounded by a tiny range of hills that host palaces and forts. The hilltop within the huge fort is empty of most anyone but monkeys and has so much room to explore. Like the more famous and well-known Jodhpur, the village homes are painted uniformly in a Brahmin blue, creating the effect of a beautiful sea when looking down from the ancient fort.

As much as I can see the potential of Bundi being a wonderful destination where a week or more can easily slide by, I let my reaching the limit of male advances mar my experience. I don’t mean to pick on either Udaipur or Bundi since neither is any worse than other spots in India. It’s just unfortunate timing and me reaching a point where I need a break.

So now I’m off to a haven I am more than familiar with where I am certain that I will be mostly free of this attention.
And I will be more careful in the future about what I wish for.


photos of Udaipur

photos of Bundi

videos

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