through a web of narrow alleyways
stimulating the senses
The sights colorful and frenzied with movement
in a range of rapid and stifling paces
People sitting in cubbyholes packed full of items for our every need…
Soap, sweets, thali, silk shawls, sarees, etc.
Massive cows stopping to gnaw on piles of garbage
oblivious that they fill 2/3 of the passageway…causing traffic jams
The sounds various and sweet
jingling bells of the cycle rickshaws
jockeying for the best lane of traffic.
Lane? What lane? Into the masses
the chaos that has a system beyond the western comprehension
Chanting, singing, music blasting from broken speakers
“Namaste, madame! Where you go?”
“you want boat?”
The light at the end of the tunnel comes to me at the top a tall set of stairs
the ghat
Descending into the bright sun toward the conduit of transformation
The
Holy mother
The power in the water
constantly flowing
taking with it impurities
old ways
blockages
Leaving in its wrath
possibilities
forward movement
cleansing
The 
Drinking the water
Swimming
Bathing
Blessing a wedding…or a newborn baby
Cremation of those who have passed
Drifting upon the calm current
…ones who embrace a puja here leave behind blockages.
The longer I stay the more it transforms me
As soon as I feel that I know my way
I am lost
As soon as I feel that I have seen all there is to see
I make discoveries
As soon as I have a network of friends
Our paths shift
As soon as I need space
I am grounded
As soon as I am lonely
I am surrounded by friends
As soon as I feel insecure and ugly
A mirror appears with a reflection of
beauty
The cycles of the moon at this time have ushered incredible shifts of forward movement and progress toward potential.
Coinciding all at once have been the Hindu celebration of Shivaratri, the new moon in Pisces and my own personal moon cycle.
Emotions and sensitivity have been heightened
I have awareness of my personal barriers. It is my own insecurities that thwart the possibilities of my desires and the needs of which I have no knowledge.
I threw these insecurities into the temple flames on the playa. From there I have begun the battle.
It is now that I face these insecurities and challenge them.
I will have comfort in the moment
Knowing that what I need will be
Present
In the present
I can’t know what I need
And it is when I understand this unknown
I am free
I have enjoyed so much the friendships made in 
The connections to the other travelers, those blessed to call this city their home and the zoo of animals that roam freely in the alleys and ghats.
I love you cows, baby goats, the 7 adult geese who spend every moment vigilantly watching over a single chick, the monkeys who use the tall buildings as their vertical playground, the saddhus,
the children, the people…
I visited an Indian astrologer who gave me a reading of my present life and my past life. I recorded it on a minidisk so I can revisit the words later.
My greatest heartbreak I have carried consistently through my adult life was clearly explained to me by the behavior of my past life. The karma of this past self is facing the music now. The reading was incredibly eye opening and I would be happy to share some details but do not feel comfortable doing so on this wide forum of communication.
Here’s one tidbit though…and this is for you, Mom:
I will have one child only and this baby will come in 2-3 years.
Hmmm
?
Countless times I have been told how brave it is for me to travel how I do
and where I go
I hear of fear, disinterest and insecurity in venturing abroad.
I would like to show you the other side of the coin.
I feel completely at home in my foreign wanderings. But the fears that I have are ones that I see most who I know and love conquering regularly
with ease
and little hesitation.
My fear is relationships
There it is
So while I, a single female, wander alone in dark alleys across the globe, hearing only foreign languages and new stimulation
You develop and nurture friendships
And love
And family
That last beyond a week.
The other side of the coin
Fears
Insecurities
Barriers
A stone statuette of Shiva now sits beside the tiny crystals I brought with me from
In this time of the Pisces moon…the emotional destroyer of barriers
The Shivaratri…celebration of transformation
I embrace my possibilities.
Last night I placed a wreath of red flowers around the mirror behind my altar.
Red flowers I had presumed to be dead.
I awoke this morning
Looking into the mirror
Surrounded by open vibrant blossoms
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